Friday, June 27, 2008

creepy peepers

Oh sleek bananacondas...

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Dear Blog,

I am torn. I am torn between what movie to rent at redbox tonight. Beowulf or Rent? On one hand Beowulf is a hot and sexy wolfman, but he is a little self-conscious and that is so not hot. Rent is looking to be this summer's hottest flick, although it's a little sing-songy. I do love action films though. What do you think blog? I wish you would answer me. What am I going to do? I could pick up another package of betty crocker instant cookies mix, maybe I wont burn them this time. I hate my life.

Woefully yours,

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

I painted this for my mom and my sister stole it from her.

I do not <3 robots

Robots lost in the desert, the woods, the sky, etc. Just some mixed media shizzz.

Bears, Bikes

Another Cover I did for the PHX but they didn't end up using.

Some old swirly paintings.


Painting for my super creepy children's book.
Dear Lady Goolie,

Literally the only thing I think about is myself. I look at the popsicle ladies and wonder, "What if I were in a popsicle suit? And melted?" Then I pause, and look into the mirror. Any advice?

Signed, Confused/Befuddled/Bewitched by my own countenance.

PS I ate the last string cheese.


I understand your problem. I too, only think about myself and my blog. The thought of wearing a popsicle suit has also crossed my mind several times in the past few days. But worry not my friend, keep on keeping on and stop looking in the mirror. I suggest you break all the mirrors you own, take those shards of broken mirror and make a tiffany style lamp with them. Light up your life. Also stop eating string cheese it is terrible for your digestive tract. And they're mine, I bought them and I have no money and I hate you.

Good Luck,

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

popsicle ladies

An Illustration I did for the Phoenix Summer Preview cover. They didn't use it though.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008



Dear Blog,

Today I am filled with shame and pain. Last night I thought I made a friend. This so-called "friend" promised to take me to the Celtics game with him tonight. Imagine my excitement! I was filled with glee, so much glee it made me have to pee. Or maybe it was all the beer. Anywhooo... later in the night he told me I couldn't go, for reasons still unknown to me. Of course this upset me greatly. Filled me with a rage unknown to my friends or fellow bar patrons. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I asked the bartender for a glass of water, carried it over to the evil man-child, and dumped it on his khaki-ed lap. This of course caused great commotion and I was immediately corralled out the door. But I went silently and obediently. Won't be going back there too soon.

peace, love and understanding,
Q & A

Dear Goolie,

Sometimes when you sleep you emit noxious odors. Yet you still have a significant other. What advice do you have for little old me?

Looking 4 Luv

Dear L4L,

It is true, I do have a bit of a gas in the bed problem. But I believe that my freedom of expression and ability to be comfortable around my partner helps our relationship. What happens to a flame when gas is poured on it? It becomes bigger and brighter.

My advice to you is to be yourself, and in the words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young: "Let your freak flag fly!"


Saturday, June 7, 2008

Q and A


Dear Lady Goolie,

I came across your blog the other day at work. You strike me as a fake and a phony. Are you real? If so, I'd like to take you out for a milkshake sometime. Email me back at.... (sorry can't publish that).


Dear RU...,

I am true, and I am 2-good-2-B-4-gotten. But I'm going to have to say no to your request. Here are the reasons:

A. I don't hang with the employed.
B. You're a peeper.
C. Is for cookie and that's good enough for me.
D. I'm lactose intolerant.

Other than that I'd be totally up for it.


Thursday, June 5, 2008


Dear Blog,

Exciting Happenings! Yesterday was my day of Jury Duty. After hopefully awaiting a decision from "Her Honor" for about 5 and a half hours, I was rejected. :( It was still pretty kewl though. I wonder why I was rejected... maybe it was my uncontrollable gas outbursts in the courtroom. My dishonest mug, or my thinning hair? Who knows. I cant wait till 3 years from now when I get another chance... I don't know if I could handle another rejection like that. My room smells like Rose's feet. (FYI that is
not a good thing) OK well I need to blowdry my hair now. Time to make the money to buy the bacon to bring home to eat. I'll talk to you later, blog.


P.S. Summer Jam '08: "Low" - FloRida ft. T-Pain

Monday, June 2, 2008

Dear Blog and Blog readers,

I am broke. I went to the coinstar machine today to cash in my pennies but they sadly only amounted to $3.04. Any suggestions? My first thought was to off myself, but I'm sure I can come up with money somehow. Turn tricks you say? Oh I've been down that road and it sure stinks. Literally the smells that I smelled.... well I let you figure it out for yourself. Ok dear readers that's all for now, feel free to comment with some suggestions on how to improve myself. Oh and how to get money.



Dear Readers,

If anyone out there is listening and an inventor by profession I'd like to speak with you. I'm working on a new product called the "compu-friend". It came to me one night when I was blog blog blogging all night and I was putting so much out there, and I just wanted something in return, from my computer. Perhaps a giggle, some words of encouragement, a pep talk? A smile? I'd like my computer screen to smile once in a while. Mostly I just needed a friend. So now its up to you young inventors to carry on my project, you don't even need to credit me for it, I'd just like to see it done.

Farewell, and Good Luck.


I hate meself

Dear Blog,

Last night I threw chunks over the side of my bed. After I thoroughly cleaned my room all day. Isn't it ironic? Well I cleaned it up of course. But now I'm realizing that I may have missed a spot or two. I am a dirty, sloppy person. I hate my self, my face and most of all my unforgiving stomach. Also I like Caitlin better than Rose. She's on the top of my list. If Rose would stop stealing my food and my quarters, she might be higher on the list. Also I would like to thank all of my fans out there, I blog for you and I blog for the whoever might be listening. Today is not the greatest day of my life, nor will tomorrow be.