Dear Lady Goolie,

Literally the only thing I think about is myself. I look at the popsicle ladies and wonder, "What if I were in a popsicle suit? And melted?" Then I pause, and look into the mirror. Any advice?

Signed, Confused/Befuddled/Bewitched by my own countenance.

PS I ate the last string cheese.




Dear CBBBMOC,

I understand your problem. I too, only think about myself and my blog. The thought of wearing a popsicle suit has also crossed my mind several times in the past few days. But worry not my friend, keep on keeping on and stop looking in the mirror. I suggest you break all the mirrors you own, take those shards of broken mirror and make a tiffany style lamp with them. Light up your life. Also stop eating string cheese it is terrible for your digestive tract. And they're mine, I bought them and I have no money and I hate you.

Good Luck,
Goolie